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Updated 15th April 2011 R.I.P.
I was in the recording studio and now you can
listen to
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| My name is Pip and I lived to be a 21 year old female Birman. For a while, I was the oldest living recorded Birman in Europe. The multiplier for cat to convert to a human age is complicated. The 1st year of a cat's life counts 21. The 2nd counts 10 and every year thereafter counts 3. So that makes me ... er er um um 49. I'm a woman not a mathematician, what do you expect? My date of birth was on the 7th April (I was born in 1990). You can check out my pedigree here. There have been two men in my life. Man 1 writer James, who gave me my name. He's a fan of Charles Dickens, hence Pip, after Philip Pirrip in Great Expectations. I don't mind the male nickname, because my real name, licenced with the Fancy Cat Society, is Sabatini Santamorra. I am of course, descended from the acclaimed Stretford Santamorras and I got my first name because I was registered during Wimbledon Week in 1990. When Man 1 sold up and moved to Brighton, he sold me to a neighbour, Man 2, Robin Marshall, who looked after me until . . . |
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Ahhhhh, those hot keys I wish he'd finish with his G4 titanium soon. It has a hotter processor. I only get to use his laptops when he's finished with 'em My man has a titanium watch. But does it tutut-tell the tutut-time?
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| I Like | Because |
| Shell on prawns | Someone has to peel them for me |
| Birds | I might catch one |
Men |
They
are men |
| I Dislike | Because |
| The vacuum cleaner | It sucks |
| Dogs | They smell and they can't miau. Except I have fallen in love with the handsome dog-in-a-million Theo. I want to get married and have babies. |
| Femtards | They do not understand cats, mice nor men. |
| Below, on the left,
is the only surviving picture from when I was an itty bitty kitty. LATE
NEWS!!! I have just been told that there exists a picture of me with my
mother. A copy has just arrived: SEE BELOW ------------->>>>>LATE LATE ADDITION:
>>>>> On the right, I can be seen sitting on the famous astronomer, Sir Patrick Moore, doing my impression of a binary quasar. |
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| Man 1, James, is the young
chap in the background. Living with such a good cook and prawn peeler, I
didn't get out much, except to the vet. I know quite a few stars and have been cuddled in my time by Tom Baker and Julie Goodyear. I have also appeared with Lisa Tarbuck in the TV sit-com "Watching", playing the part of Spinosa. |
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Man
2 takes me for walks on the canal towpath, albeit on the end of a long
piece of string, which seems a bit unnecessary after what the vet did
to me. |
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My fur looks pretty good against the autumn leaves, tho I do say it myself. And it's just the cold that makes my fur puff out. I am NOT a fat cat. Indeed, I can tell you for a fact that I weigh 3.1kg and that is not a lot for a prime pussy cat. I am having a bath this weekend and I'll get a photo of me looking like a bottle brush then you can see how thin I am. |
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This is me inspecting my Christmas dinner. They are having turkey; I have to make do with roast pigeon.
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Well, a gal's got to have somewhere to sharpen her claws! Most cats have a Scratch Pole. I've got a Scratch Greek.
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I beg your pardon! I am just about to have my hair cut. You've got to think about this one. |
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Here I am up in the rafters. They told me "Your bats", so I assumed they were up here.
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My friend Homer comes to see me on the window ledge. I'm sure he tastes nice..... er..... hang on, what did I just have for Christmas dinner............. Hommmmmeeeeeeer....... it wasn't my fault!!!!!
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I remember when
I were a lass, living in a shoe box on the M1.
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I guess I've got through a few of
my lives, in particular:
1) Shut in the fridge for four hours. Survived by eating first man's smoked salmon & caviar.
2) Escaped from my first man and was re-captured at the NatWest cashpoint on Deansgate.
3) Escaped again and was caught on the Mancunian Way urban motorway.
4) Jumped into a bath which I thought was empty - but wasn't.
5) Went for a walk over the slippery roof of the 6 storey warehouse where I live.
6) Leaned out of the swivel window looking for Homer. It swivelled shut on my
neck and I was trapped for 3 hours.
7) The vet.
8) Sat too close to a candle on the window ledge, torched my tail spectacularly.
Pheww!!
9) Got an invitation to a D:Ream gig, although this probably
doesn't count since he might not have turned up.
| Places I want to visit: | Purrsia |
| Miaolaysia | |
| Catmandu | |
Whiskeronsin |
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| Co. Furrmanagh | |
| Chat eau neuf du Pape | |
| Catalunya | |
| Mew Zealand | |
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| STOP PRESS: ME AND MY MUM: SPRING 1990 and if you believe that, you'll believe anything. |
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Internet Email: Yes, I have my own e:mail address and wouldn't mind hearing from anyone out there, even now, via my operative e-mail addr: champagnecat (at) outlook.com
He comes out and talks to where I now lie and reads me my e-mails.
I do still get a few nice emails from other cats (and even one from Jack, a dog who claims to like cats haha). I was sent a lock of my lover Theo's hair. mmmmm. But now I get 50 emails a day, mainly from stupid humans. They offer me a loan to solve my financial problems. I'm a cat, I don't have any. They offer me viagra but I don't think it will be as good as Canine Royale Sensible 33 cat food. My human property tells me viagra is for males. Don't they read my details first? They offer me photos of something called Brittany Speers doing something I don't understand. They offer me the sole UK franchise for their new weather boots. So for a while, I have to withdraw my email ID and keep it secret. If you really want to send me a message, phone me on my mobile 0772 **** ***. If its a genuine contact for me, no problem. But if you are offering these loan things, then beware, I will insist on special claws in the contract.The address of this web page is
http://robinmarshall.eu/pip.html
My town address was: The Middle Warehouse Towpath, Castlefield, Manchester. My
country address was in Wilmslow but I am not telling exactly where. There
are too many foxes in the garden already, I don't want any wolves or trolls. Then I moved to France in 2010 at the age of 20. I enjoyed the journey although I did not like the look of the Dartford Crossing.
This page was originally created on 7th April 1994, to celebrate Pip's 4th birthday. The world wide web had beeen invented 2 years previously and it is believed that Pip might have the oldest web page for a cat in the world. She passed on peacefully on the 15th April 2011 after a stroke.
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visits since 1 April 2001 |